Be Careful What You Wish For
I am always saying I wish I could stay home and do nothing. No classes, no teaching, no choreography, no meetings, no people... well, I got what I wished for. This past week Saint Michael's College and Spotlight Vermont temporarily shut down; I had the chance to really relax. And like the perverse human that we all can be, I was restless, and wanted to go out and do something - anything. My inner tween was yelling don’t tell me what to do, while my adult self was anxious and wondering how long this will go on. This uncertainty is crushing for someone like me who loves to be in control. And while I can keep wiping down the bathrooms and countertops, that is about the extent of what I can do; relaxing did not seem to be in the cards.
About midweek I realized there was something I could do. Once again, it’s the power of gratitude. How often will I have to keep relearning this lesson? It took me a little while to see that I have lot to be grateful for during this time. I am feeling grateful (and victorious), that I got to the library before it closed and now have a multitude of books. When I inquired about how many books I could borrow, the librarian replied there was no limit. I took her at her word, and now have seventeen books to choose from. I have passed the time of life where I have to worry about homeschooling and keeping kids occupied. I only have to occupy myself, and between Burnham Library and all the movies available, I am set. The biggest gift is perhaps just being lucky enough to live in Vermont. I live in a neighborhood nestled among the trees, with sidewalks and walking trails in the woods. I live a short distance from beautiful rivers and marshes, with trails that are so isolated that there is no need to practice social distancing; no one else is around. The other day, Don and I went out, curious about whether the herons have come home yet. They have not, but the river was shimmering, the sky a clear Liz blue, and ducks and geese were gliding along happily graceful amongst the cattails.
Don spotted a tiny snake. I swear that little creature was smiling at me as he basked in the sun. I discovered a perfect moss covered fairy house. If I had stayed there long enough, I surely would have seen a little sprite fly right through the door. On the way home, two red tailed hawks soared right above the car.
So I guess there are worse things than having to take time away from work and other people. And while I can still relate to Hooper and Daisy looking wistfully out the door, I am again grateful to be in a place where my biggest decision seems to be “what book should I read next”. And as far as wanting something, anything to do.... tomorrow I am recording myself teaching online classes for Spotlight. I am more than slightly mortified by the idea of watching myself. Yet, I am happy to be able to keep my students dancing during this stressful time.
So let’s dance together through this unprecedented occurrence; steep ourselves in gratitude, and remember to be careful what we wish for...
It just might come true.