There are always flowers for those who want to see them... Henri Matisse
I don’t know what to say about this week, except that it would be a book that no one would want to read, a Lifetime movie so over the top, that even diehards would turn it off, for a more believable Hallmark movie. I will just say this, life is full to the brim, yet my own personal cup is in real danger of not only emptying, but of cracking from sheer desiccation. Since I don’t have the luxury of a breakdown, here are my solutions from the last two days and going forward.
The obvious: minimize or turn off the news. I have donated, made my calls, and informed myself. Nothing else to do; except, be upset by lies and headlines. I have done what I can, and nothing is in my control so off it goes, replaced by humor and inspirational readings. I recommend Jack Kornfield’s and Sylvia Boorstein’s, Buddhist wisdom for difficult times. It is extremely accessible, short and easy to read. Just what the doctor ordered.
Also, time to stop concentrating on what has been lost and see what is gained. My little neighborhood did a costume parade with candy out on the sidewalks for a socially distant, and masked mile long Halloween walk. The kids loved it, the costumes were fantastic, and I heard so many saying it was the best Halloween ever. Once again, a lesson in attachment. We were so busy bemoaning the loss of what we had always done, that we almost missed this great opportunity for Joy. Joy and laughter aplenty, as happy decked out children ram from hour to house. A little nerd golfer was the star of the afternoon. (Sorry I can’t share the photo, but imagine the cutest little child ever and know you fell way short of the preciousness :) ). Tiny boy for the win.
Hooper rocked a tutu and various head gear for his trip to Spotlight, making an 8:45 am, Halloween morning beginner Modern class an adventure. He hadn’t yet met this wonderful young bunch, as his adorability factor is quite the distraction; but hey, Halloween. It was priceless, he greeted and introduced himself to every young dancer, watched the class with appreciation, and the hope of a little bit of peanut butter from a Reece’s peanut butter cup. Victories all around, dancers thrilled, a group photo for spotlight website, and everyone loving the Reece’s pumpkins.
A long standing and grueling situation in my life seems to be changing; the babiest of baby steps has evolved into perhaps a stride forward. The discipline of staying in the now, and not grasping or trying to control, is the work of a lifetime. I hate when people talk about the universe, but just this once I will say, my summer of Zen yoga immersion has given me the strength to handle a very tricky and emotionally loaded time with some grace and patience; not my go to responses. So perhaps the universe helped me prepare... Hope combined with anxiety and not a small bit of fear, are not a great combination, but I am handling it and most surprising; able to sleep. It’s my usual paltry number of hours, but I can’t afford much less. The seemingly constant meditation and increased yoga at night, a balm. Perhaps the universe has a small say; however, still going with personal volition as the life driver. But to give the universe its due, the Blue Moon, what a spectacular display.
For the last two nights I have ditched the tv, and done yoga in front of the fireplace with twinkle lights and candles. (Insert sighs and groans, but I believe last week I owned my annoying factor). Each night I went outside and finished with Moon Salutations, took some photos and went inside for Savasana. My old iPhone eight took amazing photos. Last night, I enlarged one pix, took a screenshot; the moon became a flower field.
Gifts all around, as Henri Matisse once said, “There are always flowers for those who want to see them.” Over the next few days, I will be looking for flowers. We will need them, no matter how this election turns out, the wounds to our world and psyches are real and I believe quite deep. We are all suffering and now is time to find the small joys, and lose our judgment of others.
No matter how small something may appear, the effect in a life may be large. I deal with this quite hilariously, as there has been a mint backlog and Amazon has delayed Mama Maria’s mint order, a real sadness in her small world; and a good discipline for me to show empathy for her loss. And really, not as hard as one might think, my mom is a woman who has lived through unbearable times, and survived with style. She should be able to have any little treat she wants, so I commiserate with her about delayed mints, small meatloaf servings, and boring tv. We can all share this connection, our humanity is strengthened by our ability to relate to loss great and small.
Let’s be kind these next few days, breathe and remember we are all in this together. In the end there are no sides, just humans who want the best for their loved ones. As for me, I am planning on a near media fast. I will not be glued to anything on election night, it is out of my control. What I will be doing is an evening of practice, meditation and if the dance god strikes, choreography. If anyone wants to join me, I can perhaps get a small class going; a practice for peace, love and acceptance. I am going to see flowers dancing everywhere; join me.